Anything and Everything
by xakemii
Summary: Arthur doesn't take great pride in knowing everything about everyone. Actually, that's a lie. He loves knowing everyone's strengths and weaknesses. He also takes great pride in knowing everything about Eames specifically.


For Schermionie's 5, 10, 20, 50, 70, 100 Fandoms Challenge.

* * *

Arthur doesn't take great pride in knowing everything about everyone. Actually, that's a lie. He loves knowing everyone's strengths and weaknesses. But the actual gathering of information on everyone? Even Arthur has to admit that the process is dull. It's horrible and awful and half the time, Arthur isn't sure if the rewards are worth it.

It's tedious, beginning with basic surveillance (more commonly known as stalking). Then he continues with monitoring phone calls and emails. Sometimes he even has to step into offices and homes in order to steal petty things like diaries and journals to analyse. To get the ridiculous amount of information that he always seems to need, it always seems to take a stupid amount of time that Arthur would rather be using to do something else...anything else, really.

His information gathering is mostly mark-centric. But Arthur's a smart guy and he would never work with someone that he hasn't looked up. So when Cobb tells him to expect a new forger who goes by the name of Eames to turn up at the warehouse, Arthur has his cellphone, laptop and car keys out in seconds.

He starts with the phone.

"Yeah, Cecelia, this is Arthur. How are you? ... Oh, that's nice to hear. I was wondering if you had any information on a forger named Eames. ... You have an entire file on him? You're great, you know that? Email it through, please?"

"Jonathan, hi. Don't suppose you know the forger, Eames? ... No? Well, that's all right. If you hear anything, call me, will you?"

"Lucas. I'm looking for information on Eames. Forger."

"Penelope, I just got off the phone with Leanne and she tells me that you've recently had a job with Eames..."

The calls continue and Arthur sits at his desk, sipping coffee and going through files that he's managed to dig up and information that his contacts have sent through to him. Later, when he's finally gathered the contact details for this elusive Eames, he spends the rest of his night trying to hack into Eames' email account, which takes far longer than he'd like. After successfully managing that, he has to go through the eye-stabbing worthy task of going through the emails.

Not surprisingly, there are several death threats in the inbox. Then there are the job offers and emails from numerous bank accounts and it's all so _boring_ that if Arthur was less than brilliant he'd throw it in all together. But Arthur _is_ brilliant so he perseveres, flicking through pages of badly written emails.

Later, he discovers Eames' choice of hotel and hops into his car to take a quick look.

By the time Eames is supposed to meet him at the warehouse, Arthur feels adequately equipped for his first meeting with a new colleague.

Except Eames immediately disarms him by being the most insufferable human being on the planet.

He has no sense of personal space. He has no idea how to be professional. He wears atrocious clothing that reminds Arthur of his long-gone grandfather. He's everything Arthur's not. And to top everything off, he takes great pleasure in annoying Arthur every chance he gets.

"And now I know what Penelope meant when she said were barely bearable," Arthur mumbles under his breath. Unfortunately, he also knows what she meant she said that despite that, she'd work with him no matter what because he's absolutely brilliant at his job.

"Aw, darling," Eames coos—_fucking coos_—in his ear. "You asked Penelope about me? I didn't know you cared."

"I'm interested in all my co-workers," Arthur snaps. Then, cringing as he realises what he's just said, says, "And by that, I mean—"

"What Arthur means is that he knows everything about everyone. It's what makes him the best in the business," Cobb interrupts, strolling into the room and throwing a pile of folders on Arthur's desk. He nods at Arthur. "New information on the mark from the employer."

After their architect, a new girl called Wanda, arrives, they get to work. However, much to Arthur's surprise (and annoyance), the conversation isn't over and after both Cobb and Wanda have left the warehouse, Eames strolls over to Arthur's desk, placing his hands on the back of Arthur's chair. Arthur responds by slowing breathing in and out, using every ounce of self-restraint he possesses to stop himself from turning around and shooting Eames in the head.

"So, you know everything about me, do you?"

Arthur tries his hardest to ignore Eames breathing in his ear and to focus on the most recent papers that were given to him by Cobb. He tries to zone in on the numbers and foreign names. But that's easier said than done, especially when Eames ups his ante, moving his hands from his chair to Arthur's shoulders, squeezing gently in an attempt to gain his undivided attention.

"I know enough."

It's meant to sound threatening. Arthur desperately wants to believe that it came out as threatening. But Arthur's not an idiot. He knows that it came out weak, pathetic and nothing close to what he'd wanted. Arthur opens his mouth to rectify the situation, but quickly shuts it, deciding instead to pretend to have returned his attention to his work.

Eames, for once, seems to take a hint and removes his hands before walking to the other side of the warehouse and sitting at his desk. For a fleeting moment, Arthur kind of misses his touch, but he quickly shrugs the feeling off and this time, he really does get back to work.

Over the next few days, Arthur has a chance to showcase his talents and manages to gather enough details on the mark to write a book on him. The mark, like all marks, has a spectacularly dull personality and lifestyle. But Arthur perseveres; he has to know everything about the mark. That way there won't be any surprises in dreamscape.

Thanks to Arthur's meticulous work effort, the job goes off without a hitch. It's done and dusted in no time and soon, Arthur's nodding curt goodbyes to Wanda and Cobb. Eames, for reasons Arthur doesn't understand, stays behind as Arthur cleans up the warehouse and erases any trace of them having been there.

"Where are you headed to?" Eames asks, slouching against the only desk that Arthur hasn't put away yet. "Cobb's going home. Wanda's got a job with the Emerson twins. What about you?"

Arthur works around where Eames stands, picking up pieces of paper and piling them into a suitcase. "I'm not sure yet. Where are you going? Back to England?"

"You know Oliver Greendale, don't you?"

"His real name is Wayne Kerr," Arthur replies without thinking. Flinching when he realises how annoyingly pretentious he'd sounded, he adds, "Yes. I know him."

"Wayne Kerr? Really?" Eames raises his eyebrows, unsure whether or not to take Arthur seriously. "Unfortunate sod. Anyway, he called and offered me a job. He also asked if I knew an available point man."

"Levels and digits?"

"The dream should only be one level." Eames hops off the desk before Arthur has the chance to push him away. "And it's only five digits. But considering how basic the job should be, it's good pay. The only downside is that Oliver's asked Browning to be the architect."

"Where is it?"

"Right. Sorry. There are two downsides. The other is that it's in Paris."

Arthur frowns. "I happen to like Paris."

"In that case, our flight leaves tomorrow at noon. I'll see you then, darling."

He leaves without another word and Arthur stares, confused, after him. Then, collecting himself, he finishes up at the warehouse and disappears. For the remainder of the evening, he doesn't give Eames' offer any thought. Even at night, the offer of the job is the last thing on his mind. The first time the job actually pops into his mind is in the morning, an hour after he's woken up. He briefly considers staying put. He doesn't need another job; he's got enough money. In fact, a break would probably be good for him. But he watches the arms on the clock tick by and before a minute's up, he's thrown some clothes into an overnight bag and rang for a taxi.

Five days into the job, Arthur is an inch away strangling Browning with his bare hands.

"Let me show you Paris," Eames says, placing his hand on the small of Arthur's back.

"You hate Paris."

Eames grins. "Then _you_ can show _me_ Paris."

Arthur tells himself it's because it's too good a deal to pass up—to show someone his favourite city. He tells himself that it's because if he spends another second with Browning, he'll probably drive himself insane. He tells himself that it's because although Eames is insufferable, Browning is worse. But it doesn't matter what Arthur tells himself, because regardless of the real reason, Arthur accepts Eames' offer, throwing his jacket over his shoulder and practically dragging Eames out of the dingy apartment they've been using.

The majority of the afternoon consists of Arthur pulling Eames around the city and telling Eames anything and everything that he knows about the city. It's only when they're seated at Arthur's favourite café that Eames is able to get a word in edgewise.

"So you know everything about everyone _and_ everything about Paris. Impressive."

Arthur falls silent, hand freezing around his coffee mug. "No, I don't."

"But you'd like to."

Arthur wishes more than anything that he could deny that, but he knows that if he tried Eames would be able to see straight through him. So he finishes up the afternoon and takes Eames back to the apartment. Unfortunately for Arthur, it's Browning that greets them with a snide, "Have a relaxing day not doing your work, did you?" It takes every scrap of Arthur's being to refrain from putting a bullet between Browning's eyes. Fueled with an overbearing need to get as far away from Browning as soon as possible, Arthur collapses at his desk and powers through his remaining work.

And once again, it's down to Arthur that the job goes both smoothly and quickly.

Arthur disappears before Eames can coerce him into another job; it's definitely time for a vacation.

Except Arthur's vacations aren't quite the same as everyone else's holidays. Eames had been right when he'd said that Arthur would like to know everything about everyone. Arthur, however, knowing that that particular goal is a bit beyond his reach, had previously decided that he'd forgo that, and that he'd more than happy knowing everything about Eames. Mostly it's because Eames, with his unpredictable manner and thieving ways, seems interesting, unlike so many that Arthur has met in the past. And so during the vacation time he's set aside for himself, he tails Eames. He keeps a small black notebook on him at all times and whenever he finds out something new or Eames does something interesting, Arthur scribbles a note to himself.

Arthur ends up taking two months off. And by the time the two months are through, he's fairly certain that he knows everything that there is to know about Eames. He can't _wait_ to show off.

"A job in Paris," Eames repeats when Arthur calls him. "Your first job in two months and you pick _Paris_, of all places?"

His disgust is apparent, but now Arthur knows better and so he says, "You _like_ Paris."

Eames hums his agreement. "It's a pity that it's full of French people."

He, just as Arthur expected, accepts his offer and one week later, they meet in Paris. Arthur, with all his newfound information, suddenly finds it easier to tolerate Eames' presence and ridiculous clothing. He feels like he understands Eames a little more than he did before and now, feeling optimistic, Arthur decides to test out the material that he's gathered over the past two months.

He offers Eames tea instead coffee. When printing out documents for Eames to read, he makes sure that the font is vivid blue instead of black. He also makes sure that he doesn't use Cambria. He brings in a whiteboard with several different coloured pens because Eames prefers visual learning and planning. He stocks up on Benson and Hedges and instead of Edith Piaf, uses Free to initiate the kick. He even takes to (loudly) playing ABBA, because he now knows that Eames _hates_ to work in silence. He stops quoting dead Greek philosophers and instead, just for kicks and because he knows that Eames would prefer it, quotes Dr. Seuss at least once a day. He always makes sure there's strawberry yoghurt in the fridge and because Eames has an uncanny ability to break rulers, Arthur always brings a spare or three in his suitcase.

For Eames, the whole situation is pretty bloody terrifying.

"Are you planning my ultimate demise, darling?" Eames asks cautiously, cupping a suspiciously flawless cup of tea. He takes a hesitant sip. "You sure this isn't poisoned?"

Arthur frowns. "No."

"I'm kidding," Eames replies with a small smile. "But these new work ethics of yours...they're interesting."

"You like them."

At this, Eames furrows his brows in confusion. "Yes. I love it. But _you _don't. You hate it. They're loud and colourful and completely unprofessional. So why are you doing it? And more importantly, how on earth did you find out so much rubbish about me? _Why _did you find out so much rubbish about me?"

Arthur mindlessly fiddles with his shirt cuffs. "That's a lot of questions."

Fortunately for Eames, he's a perceptive man and it all hits him at once. He can't stop the grin that spreads from ear to ear as he leaps up from his chair, tea forgotten, and grabs Arthur by the waist in order to stop him from escaping.

"You _stalked _me, didn't you? You wanted to know everything there is to know about me because you need to know everything these is about everyone and you _stalked_ me. And this job...this is you showing off, isn't it? Darling, you _like_ knowing everything there is to know about me because you _like_ me."

"That's not true," Arthur replies, eyes cast down. A few moments of silence passes and then Arthur looks up slowly. "Well, okay. It's mostly true. And it's not stalking. It's...surveillance."

Eames continues to smile. "The important bits are true. You wanted to know everything about me and now you do. If I didn't know of your creepy ways of getting information, I'd say it's quite the romantic gesture."

"Oh, get off." Arthur laughs, pushing Eames off him. "It's not _that_ creepy."

"Darling, it's _very_ creepy."

Arthur can't help but to laugh even harder, nodding slightly as he admits defeat. The laughter subsides and they're left, standing together with Eames' arms around Arthur's wait, in a comfortable silence.

"I'm sure I don't know _everything _about you," he finally says, sounding confident as he always does, but there's a definite questioning tone in his voice.

Eames catches on quickly and his grin widens. "Yes, well, if we went on a date I'm sure you could find out more."

The date, unsurprisingly, goes swimmingly. And by the end of the night, Arthur feels more than comfortable admitting that finding everything about people is, in fact, a terribly boring job to have. But he's also comfortable in telling everyone that finding everything there is to know about Eames, in particular, is not boring at all and that he does know everything about Eames.

It's also important to note that Arthur takes great pride in knowing everything and anything there is to know about Eames. And that in return, Eames is very much on the road to knowing everything there is to know about Arthur.


End file.
